A few weeks ago, I read an interesting post over at Perpetual Page Turner about being married to a non-reader. The more I thought about it as I read, I thought about doing my own version. I’m married to a mostly non reader. My hubby does read, but he prefers audiobooks and he only usually listens to them during drill weekends or other military engagements.
Some background about us…
Tim and I met at a time in my life when I felt like everything was falling apart. I felt like everything was collapsing all around me, I was struggling in classes due to my overactive imagination on considering what my future would be, debating on changing my major, researching jobs in my major (I was an International Relations major), etc. Basically a midlife crisis at 19. Yeah, it was great times.
One of my best friends convinced me to go to a band party during fall break. Now, this isn’t a band party like you think. This was a marching band party. The Band of Blue gets together ALL the time. We don’t need a reason to have a get together. I had sworn off dating until I had school figured out, but God had a different plan in store for me. Needless to say, I met my hubby that night and two weeks later after talking and a few dates, we were officially dating. A year and a half later we got married.
Marriage Perks (not *those* perks)
I always thought I would marry as big of a book reader as I am. Looking back now, I like how things played out. Tim likes to read, but no where near as much as me. He couldn’t imagine going to a midnight book release on his own (I went to HP 5, 6, and 7) and probably will never go unless I drag him along for a book release I am interested in or if there’s a series our kids are interested in.
I love that we share a joy of reading. It’d be nice if he loved it more, but I like things the way they are. We can talk books, but I like being able to tell him about things in my books that he doesn’t know because he hasn’t read the book. Does he get annoyed with me rambling or ranting about my books? Oh, yes. Frequently. Even though we doesn’t read novels as often as me, he does read a bit everyday. Since we’ve been together, we’ve developed a system of ways to spend time together doing things we both enjoy. Sometimes we may not speak for hours during this time, but we’re still TOGETHER.
– He loves to watch sports. It doesn’t really matter what sport, he generally has a game on. If it’s football season, there definitely is a game on if there is one televised. It doesn’t matter if he’s a fan of the team or not. Various other seasons, he channel surfs, but still watches games. While he does this, I’ll watch a bit, but then I go to reading. Unless it’s a team I’m interested in, I don’t have a desire to watch. Though I will admit, I do watch more football and NASCAR races than I ever thought I would.
– Prior to deployment and two babies, he used to play video games A LOT. He said he got a bit burned out playing so much in Iraq, and with two little ones, we try to limit tv watching and more quality time together.
– When we travel, he usually drives, and if the kids have fallen asleep or are busy watching a movie, I will read. As long as we aren’t on a twisty back road. Otherwise I may throw up everywhere!
– He likes to watch TV in the evenings after the kids are in bed and we’ve laid down in our room. I’m not that big on TV, plus he changes channels every two seconds so I get some reading time then too!
Some unexpected perks!
– When in doubt, books are ALWAYS a great route for me as a present. Tim knows this, and I frequently get them for my birthday, Christmas, anniversary, or just because. When he surprises me with books (especially one I’ve gone on and on about) it’s always great!
– Books are my bargaining tool. Hubby loves all sorts of techy things and tools and other manly man things. We have a deal. If he gets a random toy, I get books! He got a new kindle case a few weeks ago. I got two new books. I may have to do his NFL draft for him while he’s at military training. I get new books!
– I have A LOT of books. I mean A LOT. I have 95% of the books from my childhood. I would say all, but I have noticed a few that have disappeared as I’ve gone to read to my kids. I have my book collection that started with Harry Potter all the way to the two most recent additions I got a few weeks ago. All of our cases have my books on them except for two shelves. Those are hubby’s books. we have at least seven bookcases.
Now, since he is a bit of a reader, I don’t get off scotch free on reading whatever I want without judgement. Unless it’s on my kindle and he can’t tell what I’m reading, he judges me based on the cover. If it looks like smut, he teases mercilessly. Luckily, I haven’t read much smut so I don’t have to deal with that!
You would think that as a reader, he knows to appreciate books. Nope. He still teases me that I have too many books. If I complain that I have more books than I can read through at the moment, he volunteers to thin out my selection and get rid of some. He usually gets a book thrown at him or elbowed. Depends on how close he is to me. I have two kiddos, but my books are my babies too!
Are you married to/in a relationship with a reader? A non-reader? A semi-reader? What are the good and bad things about it? I think we have a great system going for us. The only time it fails is when he touches my books and I’m not done reading them! He doesn’t always grasp if they are in a pile on the floor by MY side of the bed, I am not done with them. He’ll get it eventually. We’ve just been together almost 5 years. He’s got time to learn (:
Oh! And a very happy birthday to my wonderful hubby too! (: